WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT BOYS
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT BOYS
sterek modern royalty au: stiles is the crown prince, and derek is basically the royal mechanic
happy (belated) birthday literaryoblivion! i hope you like this <3 you are amazing and wonderful and ilu.
Stiles faces the cameras, waves his hand and smiles like he’s been trained his whole life to do. His back aches from the stiff posture, and he resists the urge to run his hands through his hair. A reporter asks him a question about his father’s upcoming peace summit, and Stiles automatically recites the answers.
Remember to smile. Remember the answers. Remember to be charming like Mom taught me.
The reporter thanks him, and Stiles continues down the line, answering more questions about the summit, but also superficial questions like who he was rooting for in the World Cup and what’s the worst thing about being the son of a king. “Never getting good curly fries,” Stiles answers, which isn’t what the reporter expects. “I never get to just run through a drive thru and get fries, and the one time I did, the workers were so nervous my fries were burnt.”
“Couldn’t they just make them for you at the castle?” the reporter asks.
Stiles grins and winks at her. “Just not the same.”
Be charming. Be funny. “You don’t have to be Prince William,” his mother had told him. “You don’t always have to be serious.”
His bodyguards stand by watchfully as Stiles takes photos with a few people, and then he faces the cameras again. His fingers self-consciously go to the waist of his dress pants, because they feel too tight, too restricting. But Lydia had insisted that his outfit was perfectly tailored. “This is what you pay me for, Stiles,” she’d huffed. “Now let me do my job.”
He trusts Lydia with everything, from his clothes and hair to booking his appointments, but that doesn’t make him feel any less constricted and ridiculous in these tight-fitting pants. He misses the days when he could wear oversized khakis and hoodies, despite the fact that he was heir to the throne. Sometimes, he thinks turning eighteen had been the worst thing to happen to him.
Stiles walks towards the car waiting for him on the curb. He waves for the remaining cameras, shouts out a few one-word answers to reporters’ questions, watches as his bodyguards keep more eager reporters from rushing him. At the car, he turns and gives one final, regal wave before slipping inside.
He takes a deep breath once the door’s closed. Without the adrenaline that comes with being in the public eye, his hands start to shake violently.
His driver, Isaac, turns around to look at him. “Are you okay, your highness?”
Stiles concentrates on his breathing – in out in out in out – the panic ebbing, though the shaking doesn’t stop. “I’m fine, Isaac.” He shoots him a weary smile. “Let’s go home.”
In light of the 50 Shades of Grey trailer coming out today, quick reminder that that book is about an abusive and controlling relationship, not BDSM.
Fanfiction (published or not) is important for women of all ages to explore gender roles and sexuality in a way that is less stigmatized and more accessible.
But do not do the BDSM community a disservice by calling the relationship described in the book a BDSM experience.
Anonymous said: Penises are for urinating and supplying sperm for reproduction, doesn't mean we urinate and fuck in public .. why should breast feeding be okay? fucking typical one sided feminist
Does your penis provide sustenance for another person? No. Can you show your nipples in public if you want to? Yes. Also, breasts are not genitals or sex organs. Only 13 out of 190 cultures world wide consider them to be sexual or even private parts. Don’t even act like this is a feminist thing. This is a babies-have-the-right-to-eat thing.
Suneet Varma | India Bridal Fashion Week | 2013 The Golden Bracelet
"u dont need makeup to be pretty just be urself!!!"
ok but consider this
- i fucking love eyeliner
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
My friend Dev (she’s not in the tw fandom) found this fucking coke
WITH WHAT’S OBVIOUSLY STILES’ NAME ON IT:
STILES IS UPSET HE DIDN’T FIND IT FIRST
where derek gets a coke and is like, contemplating how he can share it and like stiles is like
OMG MY NAME
and tries to steal it or buy it off derek
who misconstrues and thinks stiles is soliciting him for sex
DEREK IS LIKE
NO THANK YOU
BUT YOU ARE HOT
Derek should be offended. He really really should, but he can’t help feel a little bit smug for…
"How much? Seriously, if it’s reasonable, I’ll pay it," the cute guy repeats and he just looks at Derek excitedly.
He knows it’s not the guy’s fault. Derek was turning on a corner, coming back from the grocery shopping, and ended up bumping into someone - his things ended up everywhere. And then the guy - cute moles, whiskey eyes even under the bad light, messy blowjob hair, lean muscles - grabs one of Derek’s just bought cokes and snaps his head up just looking at Derek with want, saying “how much?”
Derek gets it. He does. He was in a corner and he’s only wearing skinny jeans and a tight black shirt with a lot of holes on it and it’s freaking midnight. He probably does look like a hooker who stopped for a dinner break, considering that his groceries most included sodas and snacks. (And not to be cocky or anything, Derek works out. He knows what he looks like, alright. He might be shy, but he doesn’t lack on self-confidence.)
"Uh," Derek is able to form, when his brain starts working again, because cute guy wants to bone him "I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to do that for money.”
Derek decides to ignore his blush. He is not blushing. And he’s most definitely not thinking that the guy’s frown is cute. Nop.
"Couldn’t you just give it to me, then?" Cute guy says teasing, but he sounds so hopeful and Derek wants to yell hell yeah, I would love to give it to you right here right now, but that would probably go bad; the guy is picking up hookers at a Wednesday night - Derek gets attached and cute guy just wants to fuck around.
"I think you’re really cute, but I can’t. Sorry."
"Why not?" Oh man, cute guy has a really nice confused face. "You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for this, dude!" He even shakes Derek’s coke for emphasis "It has been months and I tried emailing an order for one, ya know, but apparently the minimum is a hundred of them at once and I’m thirsty for it, but not that thirsty! I mean, I thought about throwing a party and just sharing them all, but I thought it might be awkward later? Like, I’ve drank your…”
"I got it!" Derek hurries to interrupt and he’s blushing and ohmygod, he doesn’t know if he’s grossed out or turned on (since when Derek finds orgies hot? This guy is doing things to him!),because apparently cute guy almost paid for a thousand hookers and now is just begging for Derek. “I… I’m flattered that you’re asking it for me, really, but I…”
"I’ll give you a hundred bucks!" Cute guys just cuts him, like he wasn’t even listening. "Just, please…”
Suddenly, Derek doesn’t feel so flattered anymore, because—-
"Only a hundred bucks? Seriously?”
"I think that’s way more than fair!"
"If it was the opposite, how much you think I’d charge you?"
"I don’t know!" Derek yells, "I already said I find you cute! I wouldn’t… But if I would, you’re worth at least a thousand!"
Cute opens his mouth, but abruptly shuts it. ”Did you just say I’m worth a thousand?”
"Not you," he sighs, because he’s already completely red again, "a night with you, like… you know what I mean."
"Uh," cute guy is looking at him like Derek’s completely insane "I don’t think I do. Sooo, let’s make this clear: I was trying to buy your coke, because it has my name on it and you have no idea how hard it is to find a can that says Przemyslaw.”
Derek looks at the coke on cute guy’s - Przemyslaw - hands and…
Oh holy fuckin—-This is awkward.
"Now, please enlighten me with your version of the facts," he continues, because apparently he’s putting things together and enjoying Derek’s embarrassment.
"I… I thought you thought I was a hooker." Przemyslaw just burst out laughing and Derek wants to die. He does. Please bury him. Now. He doesn’t need to go through this shit, he… "Have the can. I’ll just…" kill myself somewhere else.
"Oh no. I get why you thought that… Now that I am replying our conversation, I can see my mistake. How much. Geez, I’m sorry to harass you. Not that it was my intention.”
"It’s fine. I was the one who got everything wrong." Because of course cute guy doesn’t want to sleep with him. Derek has no luck with his love life. "Look, Przemyslaw, I…"
"My name. Stiles. Well, everyone I know call me Stiles. Actually, only three people even know my real name. Well, four now.” Prz… Stiles said smiling. Derek only nodded. “And I know you just said I could have it, but wouldn’t you want to share a coke with me, like it says right here?”
"I thought you were offering me a hundred bucks for sex." Derek blurts out.
"And that’s hilarious. You’re the only person I ever heard saying my name properly. I can’t let you go now." Derek huffs, feeling himself blush again. "Besides, word is on the streets you find me cute."
"I thought you weren’t paying attention to what I was saying."
"Pfff, please. You think I’m worth at least a thousand bucks. I’m keeping you."
Derek rolls his eyes. “Don’t get too excited. Let’s share that coke first, shall we?”
They share the coke. And, in the end, Stiles does keep him.
"Maybe you’re not [heterosexual/homosexual/some kind of allosexual], maybe you’re just [insert love interests name]-sexual"
NO, NO THERE IS AN ACTUAL LEGITIMATE NAME FOR THAT
THERE IS A NAME FOR ONLY BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO THOSE YOU HAVE A DEEP EMOTIONAL BOND WITH
I am avoiding that video with EVERYTHING I HAVE IN ME.
HAHAHAHA THEY COMPLAINED A STORY WAS DISJOINTED
OH THE IRONY
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